LDN EN: Ever notice how blind people don't smoke? The Coe & Sterling Tobacco Co. has; they're set to launch an aggressive campaign to get the visually impaired puffing. There are three brands on the horizon: 3rd Eye Blacks: A strong full flav…
A threatened walkout by Paralympians after Athletes from Russia and Belarus were allowed to compete as neutrals at the 2022 Winter Paralympics in Beijing following the invasion of Ukraine is highly unlikely claims a leading spinal surgeon. The In…
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The governor of Texas, who was recently named “The Biggest Asshole Governor of All-Time” by the Chicago Daily Wind newspaper, has just had the unmitigated gall to use nearly half a million dollars of state taxpayers money to…
WILMINGTON, De.—What better way to observe National Bogus Handicapped Parking Sticker Day than by having lunch at a Tony restaurant with a confirmed handicapped-parking-sticker cheat? We'll call him Ralph. He is one of a notorious breed of white-col...
It is perhaps the most unusual election strategy of recent years. Conservative spin-sters are beginning to spread a tale of Boris Johnson as a cripple, a man who suffers from excruciating mythomania, yet who, despite his problems, doesn't try to clai...
In the midst of declining ratings over the past 15 seasons of So You Think You Can Dance, producer Jessica Lively confirmed today that the show has been picked up for an additional season to premier in 2019. Despite the dwindling viewership, she...
A woman on a shopping trip to the big city had to be rescued after she became stuck in a revolving door. Betty Smith was in New York for the very first time in her life, after living 74 years on a farm in Iowa. On a once-in-a-lifetime trip, the ol...
Service Dogs have been assisting the blind and deaf for over a 100 years. But the growing list of creatures being used to assist people with an expanding inventory of handicaps has set off a deluge of dangerous situations across America. An exampl...
Dustin Papst of Opa-Loka, Florida, just wants to be treated like anyone else. He says he is constantly given favorable treatment by strangers because of his disability, which he feels is not a disability at all. "I don't even like to talk about it...
Geneva, CH; The World Health Organization released a shocking discovery that between 82-85% of the hearing impaired can, in reality hear just fine. While there are varying degrees and types of hearing loss, 99% of the malingerers composed the anacusi...
George Osborne introduced a Budget aimed to assist women and the disabled in a move that stimulated immediate approval from the 'Daily Male'. Disabled people will be given the chance to return to the workforce so that they can maintain an income t...
Police arrested Pierre LePetite outside a Baton Rogue Pet World store this afternoon, after a minor scuffle, and charged him with animal cruelty and resisting arrest. Police allege LaPetite poses as a disable veteran and uses his service dog as cove...
Albany NY: Authorities are fuming over a New York resident who's making periodic trips to Canada for a nerve block to cause leg paralysis. Chief O'Brien said; "He's gaming the system. We take improper use of handicap placards very seriously in th...
The Disabled Learning Channel is launching yet another wonderful learning inspired program. In the pilot, dancers with fake feet who could tap dance and a hunchback who weighed over 300 pounds did one hell of a Polka with a blind midget. Myron...
UKIP have walked ably into the World Cup coverage team on ITV this summer as Glenn Hoddle has been employed to cover the gap left by Roy "insert insult about someone else" Keane. Little known to the general public, most UKIP politicians regularly...
Reluctantly, I gave in and we now have a Handicap Parking placard. "Getting old ain't for sissies," as my Mom use to say. With very poor vision and having to creep along on a cane now, I realized it was time for this additional chink in my armor. We went to he grocery store and Wal-Mart this past weekend and used the placard for the first time. We parked almost at the front door of Wall-Mart! "...
Disabled mall cops will not be unemployed thanks to Pride Mobility's new range of police specification mobility scooters. The range includes light, medium and heavy duty scooters fitted with police equipment such as full emergency LED light packages...
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