Mother, 31, reveals 7p-a-day meal plans for struggling parents who can't afford to feed their children

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Monday, 31 January 2022

image for Mother, 31, reveals 7p-a-day meal plans for struggling parents who can't afford to feed their children
These tasty treats are made from milk and cornstarch

A kind-hearted mother is battling the cost of living crisis by writing meal plans so struggling parents can feed a family of four for less than 28 pence a day - so they don't have to feel like they are 'poor'.

Elizabeth Taylor (no relation), from Fleetwood, became concerned after noticing Facebook friends saying they had 'no money' to feed their family, and concocted an entire weekly plan of meals budgeted at 7p per day per person.

Elizabeth explained while she doesn't follow the strict meal plan herself, as she is rich, middle class, smug, and doesn't need to, she is keen to help others, adding: 'It's awful. I've got my own children and I can't imagine feeling like that.. I can't imagine going to bed and not knowing how I'm going to feed my children.'

Now the 31-year-old posts the budget meal plans on Facebook every week and has been inundated with messages from grateful people who have come to rely on her ideas.

However, some messages haven't been as friendly as others.

Kylie Minogue (no relation), a 28-year-old mother of six from Cleethorpes wrote; "One of my kids lost so much weight that we had to have him put down. My husband has Ricketts and my daughter ate her cat. They were starving. Yes, we saved money, which we spent on clothes, but in the end, the clothes were too baggy. Fuck you, you 'do-gooding' cunt."

Madonna (no relation) 85, from Lewisham, added: "My Johnny gnawed off and ate his own foot. While my neighbor's kids turned to cannibalism. All because some middle-class bored SLAG thinks it is clever to write a blog. The money we saved on food has gone on medical bills and bail. To be honest, Elizabeth Taylor, who I hear is no relation, should keep her hair-brained schemes to herself in the future."

You can follow Elizabeth's meal plan here:

Breakfast - 1/2 bowl of cornflakes with water.
Lunch - 1/2 bowl of cornflakes with water.
Dinner - 1/2 bowl of cornflakes with water.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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