Ex-Teachers Asked to Come Back as Volunteers Give Boris a Big F

Funny story written by Archibald Minge

Saturday, 18 December 2021

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You know that job we forced you out of? Want to come back for no pay?

In the wake of the prime minister’s call for ex-teachers to return as volunteers to help keep schools open during Covid, the thousands of educators who left the job in the last decade have graded his work as F : for Failure, Fuck Off and Funny How We Were Useless When We Were Bullied Out of the Profession, But All of a Sudden You Want Us Back...

Former Science teacher, Alan Bunsen, said, “Since being forced out of teaching by impossible Government targets and a workload that caused me to have a breakdown, I now work in a sewage plant where I don’t have to deal with half as much shit as when I was teaching.”

It’s not all doom and gloom, though. History teacher Euphemia Tudor-Stewart, said, “Actually, I’m rather looking forward to being told I’m a worthless piece of shit who should fuck off and die on a daily basis again.

Then, when the headteacher’s finished the morning briefing, I’ll go into the classroom.’

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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