In shocking news that surprised absolutely no one, another politician (we won't name names, but you can probably guess) has been caught doing something he shouldn't have been. Yes, that's right, he wasn't social distancing.
Unlike, the old days though, as a politician would do as a point of principle, he won't be stepping down to spend more time with his family.
Stanley Bridgwater, dapper man about town said: 'First you tell me that people can marry bridges, and go out with brick walls, and now you tell me that the short little runt Matt Hancock has been doing things he shouldn't have been'.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson said 'Gosh, crikey, phwoar, whossa, waf-waf. Of course, Matt Hancock has my full support, and I now consider the matter closed.
Of course, as someone with a broken moral compass, I would also high five Matt Hancock. He is shaping up to be quite the Conservative minister, isn't he?'
