The leading educational establishment, the University of Life, has revealed that it has now dropped all of its entry requirements.
Lecturer and Spokesman Brick Outhouse said, 'Everybody says that they have been to the University of Life, so we just thought sod it, if everyone has been here, we may just as well let everyone in, so that is what we have done. It would help if you only had lived a bit of life to say that you have been here. We can offer no qualifications, so you may as well tell someone you have been to Butlins'.
A teacher from the School of Hard Knocks said, 'Yeah, we just let anyone in here. No qualifications to get in, and none when you leave. It is pretty much a waste of everybody's time, particularly mine. If only I had studied Science, I could have been teaching that at a solid comprehensive, where the kids leave, and then say they have been to the School of Hard knocks. You may as well say you are an Influencer for the number of people it impresses'.