Dean Dean - that's not a typo, his first name is Dean - Higgins, Dean of Instruction at Winsocki U., today announced the winner of the annual "Most Distinguished Mediocre Professor of the Year" award. The winner, who has earned the coveted honor ten…
The leading educational establishment, the University of Life, has revealed that it has now dropped all of its entry requirements. Lecturer and Spokesman Brick Outhouse said, 'Everybody says that they have been to the University of Life, so we jus…
NEW YORK CITY – The coach of the Trump University Titans football team, has just stated that that they are cancelling the 2020 collegiate football season. Coach Bilbo “Ding Dong” Shasta, 74, stated that the reason is not because 24 of the players…
With college dropout rates in the United States (and particularly in the Midwest) still a major concern, sources confirmed last Thursday that Universities are becoming more successful at discovering signs of "at-risk" students. Although typical...
Midwest, United States. Finding themselves desperately engaged in a horrible struggle to identify "at-risk" students and potential "drop-outs", as tuition money remains a top priority while coaches receive astronomical salaries, university leaders,...
NEW HAVEN, CT - News of a college bribery scandal involving Hollywood celebrities and super-wealthy corporate executives has Americans stunned. Of course, there are other people who expect Ivy League Universities to give special treatment to elites a...
Well-known for years, prestigious universities in America have been allowing admissions and testing favoritism in you-pay-we-play programs. Indeed, admissions-‘r-us guardians of university integrity have often favored parents with big money. A...
Illinois. The Alumni Association at Clarkview University celebrated its 50th Anniversary last month while hosting numerous reunion festivities. Alumni from more than a half century returned to the campus to visit old friends and classmates as the a...
Following what had until then been a rather lackluster and even “dry” academic career, Jake Hanson, Professor of Urban Studies at Nashville's Tennessee State University, discovered that the prolific use of quotation marks in his published works subst...
Last week, the widely-reputed online educational institution the University of Phoenix awarded President Donald Trump an honorary Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. “I'm thrilled,” stated President Trump. “Private online education is the wave o...
New York, NY Donald Trump defended his latest debacle, Trump University, which he is in the process of going to court to defend the "university" of fraud and other charges. The latest from the maelstrom is that teachers and administrators coerced...
A new federal law that ensures that children will no longer mooch off taxpayer money in order obtain an education at public elementary schools will take effect in 2017. The "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative will force the majority of schoolchildren in the...
Since the beginning weeks of their academic semester, both the University of Dayton administration and student body have been under pressure to change the racial culture that currently exists on campus. After myriad student newspaper articles and stu...
Armidale, NSW - BA student Kyle Sanders, boarding in university accommodation, reportedly left the bathroom yesterday following a 'comfort stop' in which he used only 4 squares of toilet paper, the bare minimum required to avoid having to change the...
Notable Champagne-Humanitarian-Edgy-Rhetorical-Club, the NUS (National-Kropotkinite Union of Sympathisers) have taken advantage of the post-exam lull by sneaking in a typically creative and imaginative motion. The motion was passed by 19 votes to...
A number of unauthenticated online universities have been ordered to close their gateways by education and government officials. The aim is to make an example of fake universities that provide degrees for students who do not want to spend three pl...
Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...
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