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Funny story: American Universities Becoming More Successful At Discovering Signs Of "At-Risk" Students

American Universities Becoming More Successful At Discovering Signs Of "At-Risk" Students

With college dropout rates in the United States (and particularly in the Midwest) still a major concern, sources confirmed last Thursday that Universities are becoming more successful at discovering signs of "at-risk" students. Although typical...

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Funny story: Tenured University Professors To Receive "New" Training On How To Wipe Students' Asses And Give Them Sexual Advice If Necessary

Tenured University Professors To Receive "New" Training On How To Wipe Students' Asses And Give Them Sexual Advice If Necessary

Midwest, United States. Finding themselves desperately engaged in a horrible struggle to identify "at-risk" students and potential "drop-outs", as tuition money remains a top priority while coaches receive astronomical salaries, university leaders,...

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Funny story: SCANDAL - "College Admission" Replaces Skull and Bones

SCANDAL - "College Admission" Replaces Skull and Bones

NEW HAVEN, CT - News of a college bribery scandal involving Hollywood celebrities and super-wealthy corporate executives has Americans stunned. Of course, there are other people who expect Ivy League Universities to give special treatment to elites a...

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Funny story: Ivy league schools fight back on bad publicity re rich kid favoritism schemes

Ivy league schools fight back on bad publicity re rich kid favoritism schemes

Well-known for years, prestigious universities in America have been allowing admissions and testing favoritism in you-pay-we-play programs. Indeed, admissions-‘r-us guardians of university integrity have often favored parents with big money. A...

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Funny story: Alumni Association Celebrates 50 Years Of Shameless Donation Seeking While Hosting Reunion Festivities

Alumni Association Celebrates 50 Years Of Shameless Donation Seeking While Hosting Reunion Festivities

Illinois. The Alumni Association at Clarkview University celebrated its 50th Anniversary last month while hosting numerous reunion festivities. Alumni from more than a half century returned to the campus to visit old friends and classmates as the a...

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Funny story: Prolific Use of Quotation Marks Lends Nashville Professor Additional Academic Panache

Prolific Use of Quotation Marks Lends Nashville Professor Additional Academic Panache

Following what had until then been a rather lackluster and even “dry” academic career, Jake Hanson, Professor of Urban Studies at Nashville's Tennessee State University, discovered that the prolific use of quotation marks in his published works subst...

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Funny story: Trump Awarded Honorary Degree by University of Phoenix

Trump Awarded Honorary Degree by University of Phoenix

Last week, the widely-reputed online educational institution the University of Phoenix awarded President Donald Trump an honorary Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. “I'm thrilled,” stated President Trump. “Private online education is the wave o...

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Funny story: Trump Defends Trump University as "Most Loved College Ever"

Trump Defends Trump University as "Most Loved College Ever"

New York, NY Donald Trump defended his latest debacle, Trump University, which he is in the process of going to court to defend the "university" of fraud and other charges. The latest from the maelstrom is that teachers and administrators coerced...

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Funny story: Elementary schoolchildren to be forced to pay for own education under the new federal "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative

Elementary schoolchildren to be forced to pay for own education under the new federal "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative

A new federal law that ensures that children will no longer mooch off taxpayer money in order obtain an education at public elementary schools will take effect in 2017. The "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative will force the majority of schoolchildren in the...

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Funny story: Ohio private school implements neighborhood re-brand - "The Ghetto"

Ohio private school implements neighborhood re-brand - "The Ghetto"

Since the beginning weeks of their academic semester, both the University of Dayton administration and student body have been under pressure to change the racial culture that currently exists on campus. After myriad student newspaper articles and stu...

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Funny story: Man Uses Minimum Amount of Toilet Paper to Avoid Responsibility of Changing the Roll

Man Uses Minimum Amount of Toilet Paper to Avoid Responsibility of Changing the Roll

Armidale, NSW - BA student Kyle Sanders, boarding in university accommodation, reportedly left the bathroom yesterday following a 'comfort stop' in which he used only 4 squares of toilet paper, the bare minimum required to avoid having to change the...

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Funny story: NUS bans Holocaust Commemoration at UK Unis

NUS bans Holocaust Commemoration at UK Unis

Notable Champagne-Humanitarian-Edgy-Rhetorical-Club, the NUS (National-Kropotkinite Union of Sympathisers) have taken advantage of the post-exam lull by sneaking in a typically creative and imaginative motion. The motion was passed by 19 votes to...

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Funny story: Universities to Close

Universities to Close

A number of unauthenticated online universities have been ordered to close their gateways by education and government officials. The aim is to make an example of fake universities that provide degrees for students who do not want to spend three pl...

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Funny story: Matthew's Suicide Note

Matthew's Suicide Note

Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...

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Funny story: "Party disguised as independents" dominate student council elections

"Party disguised as independents" dominate student council elections

WATERFALLS, LAND OF THE MORNING (Bunbunmaru Newspaper) -- Last 18 January 2015, a political background equality programme was launched in Kamishirasawa Falls University in preparation for their student council elections. However, during the day of...

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Funny story: Homeless Man Accepts He Has No Role At All To Play In Emerging Social Order

Homeless Man Accepts He Has No Role At All To Play In Emerging Social Order

New York - Homeless Man Bill Watson stumbled into what he thought was a soup kitchen but was really a basement meeting of socialist professors and students from nearby Columbia University and learned that he is not only "useless," but is actually an...

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Funny story: Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Cambridge-Nearly half the faculty at Harvard (49.2%) have submitted their resignations to the college over its new policy forbidding sexual relations with students. The group includes LGBT professors and graduate instructors alike, who say that t...

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