Lucid Dreamer can't wake up

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Thursday, 4 June 2020

image for Lucid Dreamer can't wake up
Bagpipes. I can't be playing Bagpipes, can I? They take years of practice.

Lucid dreamer, Shane Merryweather, 41, from a small town in the north of England, has revealed that he just can't seem to wake up.

'I have been lucid dreaming for a while - it makes life more bearable - and the erotic dreams I have had would give EL James something to think about! But, every time I wake up, it seems to be into a nightmare.

'I mean, first of all, there was all of that trouble with the Royal family, what with Andy and his doings, and then Harry. I thought that was a dream.

'Then there was this global pandemic, that killed thousands of people, and the leaders of the world just stood around blaming each other.

'I tried waking up, and all of my favourite things were cancelled, with no more theatre, cinemas or trips to Burton's to buy my yearly new shirt.

'And then I see that there is rioting in America. Some idiot who spends too much time on his tan is blaming everyone else. I mean, I have to hope that it is all a dream, because if this is reality, God help us all!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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