The battle between countries to vaccinate their populations is escalating, with the EU now banning vaccine exports to the UK. They claim that the UK had already banned their own vaccine exports to the EU.
"We don't want your pathetic British Oxford pricks," said an EU spokesman. "They are only 70 per cent effective; they're practically firing blanks."
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has taken pride in the fact that so much of the UK's population has been vaccinated, and has been dubbed "King of the Pricks". He hit back at the EU, saying, "We don't want any of those European imports. Can you imagine your grandmother rolling up her sleeve for a smelly German prick?"
UN Secretary-General António Guterres was scathing about the spat. "What is wrong with these rich countries waving their pricks at each other? If we don't all get our pricks out for the poor Africans, who don't have pricks of their own, then the virus is never going to go away."