Ship Importing Chlorinated Chicken Sinks

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Thursday, 15 October 2020

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"I'm Wing of the Bird" said the Daily Shite

A ship carrying three hundred tonnes of chlorinated chicken has sunk in the North Atlantic after striking an iceberg.

Tabloid writers outdid themselves in an attempt to come up with the best Titanic pun - "Tita-Chick" yelled The Daily Felch. The Daily Spunk suggested "Cluck-anic". The more upmarket London Frottage asked Celine Dion to re-release her interminable hit "My Giblets Will Go On."

The cargo was intended to give Brits a taster of US "meat" before a no-deal Brexit forces us all to eat hormone-injected offal.

Although the chickens were technically illegal to sell in the UK as a meat product, the supplier McBargainson and co. of Philadelphia planned to sell them as "pickled bird corpse Christmas decorations".

The animal product company owner, Geoff McBargainson, explained, "They's eatible, and no mistake. Perfect for Yulemas, just put thems in the microwave for 45 minutes or until the juices run black."

The company are under investigation in the US for supplying poisonous foods. It is likely that their motto "Lower standards doesn't mean lower quality" would also fall foul of current UK regulations - at least until they are scrapped.

McBargainson has said he will not attempt to raise the sunken chickens from the sea bed. "It's too expensive. It's much cheaper to just pickle another million birds and send thems over."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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