The Queen Shows Her Cheek In Christmas Speech

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 25 December 2020

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The Queen comes on TV once a year

Every Christmas Day, the Queen makes a speech to the nation. Usually, it is a dull reminder of events that happened during the year, but yesterday, it appeared that her scriptwriter was Kenneth Williams (or Alan Carr, more likely, because Williams is dead).

She began by commiserating Britons for the rough year. "I know you've had a hard one," she teased. Then she cheekily added, "But throughout the year I've seen people rising magnificently."

The Queen continued, "I myself have had a drink to calm my nerves during these turbulent times. There's nothing wrong with needing a stiff one."

She then turned her attention to 2021. "I am hopeful that the future will be engorged with happiness. We must grasp it with both hands until it comes, and face the deluge."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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