There are worrying reports coming in this morning, after it was claimed that Santa Claus, who, without fail, turns up at the home of every good child in the world on 25 December, did not turn up last night.
Concerned members of the public jammed the switchboards of their local police stations, after waking and finding nothing under their Christmas trees, aside from the plate of cookies and a carrot, and the glass of milk they left there last night for the man in red.
It's feared he may have come down with the Coronavirus.
Instead, that is, of having come down the chimney.
Claus already having been pencilled-in for a COVID-19 vaccination early in the new year, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson - who still believes Santa exists - was mystified as to why the Laplander hadn't honoured his contract whereby he is required to deliver presents to children worldwide.
Said Johnson:
"I think it just goes to show that no-one can be trusted to carry out their obligations, and to get things done as was agree."
Like him, it might be argued.
Search parties have been organised on the ground in many areas which are known to be on his sleigh's flight path, but have, thus far, turned up nothing.
