A celibate man with a previous history of choking his chicken was caught again choking his chicken in a public bathroom at the Piazza dell' Unità grocery store, in Rome Italy, according to Mayor Virginia Raggi. Francesco Totti told people he went…
Every Christmas Day, the Queen makes a speech to the nation. Usually, it is a dull reminder of events that happened during the year, but yesterday, it appeared that her scriptwriter was Kenneth Williams (or Alan Carr, more likely, because Williams is…
For years it has been an underdeveloped backwater of south-east Asia, best known throughout much of the world for its devastating war against the US. Nevertheless, Vietnam is very much an up and coming country, particularly in an economic sense. Neve...
Good evening, Ooh no, don't. Don't laugh. Oh no. What a week I've had. What a week, Missus. Have you had a week? I bet you have. No, don't titter. Don't mock the afflicted. Oh but what a week it's been. Yes. No. Ooh. Hang on while I make some adjustments. I'm still breaking in these trousers you see. Don't mock. I shall have to knock through at this rate. No. Don't laugh. Yes, you Missus. Ca...
The Home Secretary Theresa May has stunned her Westminster colleagues having unknowingly displayed her new 36DD breast implants to both the opposition and coalition party. The normal comatose assembly of deadbeats, no hopers, kiddie fiddlers, expe...
Taco Bell, anticipating a need to stay ahead of the game, has teamed up with "Hello Kitty" manufacturer to develop a HELLO KITTY HAPPY TIME PINK TACO/GRANDE MEAT BURRITO COMBO Taco Bell has been on a kick for awhile now adding new, unique taco fla...
Apparently Donald Trump had $5 million burning a hole in his pocket. After being rebuffed and ridiculed by President Barack Obama following the megalomaniac's attempt to make him his hired stooge, the buffoonish billionaire tried the same idioti...
Adapting Royal Navy submarines to allow women to serve on them will cost £30 million, MPs were told. Defence Secretary Ivor Hammond-Organ said the money would allow women to have separate accommodation on the submarines; each room would have its own...
After years of pounding away at Iraqi insurgents, the US army is finally withdrawing from the country, leaving it quivering and breathless. It is hoped that the withdrawal will not cause too much of a power vacuum, and that Iraqis will be able to pul...
A South Boston man's right hand had simply had it with trying to choke a chicken that, not only had not neck, but lacked a head worth squeezing. "I can't believe it!" Exclaimed a shocked Jerry Little from South Boston. "This was my best friend! As a matter of fact, he was my only friend!" "How could leave me this way? I mean all the good times we had together. I feel so empty now".
Top Psychologist Doctor Simon Kich has finally completed a twelve year study into the appeal of Soccer (football to the English), and has come to the conclusion that it is all about sex. "The way I see it," said Kich, "this is a battle between dom...
Rare weather patterns and unseasonably warm temperatures will be responsible for a convergence of two storm systems today, where sustained winds are expected to reach more that 60 miles per hour. Local authorities are preparing for the worst, give...
A gay author is celebrating tonight after winning first prize in a prestigious short story contest, the prize for which was an extraordinarily outsized stationery set. The writer, Larry Sabu, 20, claimed the fantastic prize with his first-time ent...
In a first for English judicial law, two men have been found guilty of illegally making sperm, available over the internet, by turning a hobby into a scheme for reaping pecuniary rewards. The men behind the seminal case, Bill Wrangler and his rig...
THE HAGUE - Due to the quick-draw popularity of Iran's recently unveiled unmanned drone bomber aircraft - the so-called "Ambassador Of Death" (for no other reason than apparently because "Semi-Big Thing That Will Blow Up Near Where You Live" was alre…
Admitting to creating a play on words twice in the same sentence, Nevada real estate developer and entrepreneur, Manny Slongenhard, will be opening a new multi service entertainment establishment in Lake Tahoe next spring called the Tahoe Bar and Gir...
In an unprecedented move, golf Satyr Tiger Woods was forced to 'pull out' during the final round of the TPC match at Ponte Verde claiming a 'bulging ball sack" was giving him a stiff neck and he wasn't able to 'follow through." Tiger's early withd...
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