Delia Smith Says Brexit Has Left A Bland Taste In Her Mouth

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 31 August 2020

image for Delia Smith Says Brexit Has Left A Bland Taste In Her Mouth
Delia Smith (with wig) weighing up the menu

Celebrity cookstress Delia Smith might not be the most likely candidate to put people straight about the political issues of the day, but she's been speaking on the subject of Britain's exit from the European Union this week, and she might just make some of those who voted to leave sit up and take notice.

Smith, who is the Director of Cakes at Norwich City Football Club, was asked during an interview on local radio what she thought of the decision to leave the European Union. She said:

"Well, I voted to remain, and, I'm proud to say, I'm still of that opinion."

The interviewer asked her why she had wanted to remain. Smith answered:

"Well, I'm a food-lover, and I love the food of continental Europe! All the countries have something to offer. French breads are my favourites! And croissants! I'm not so enthusiastic about snails or frogs legs, however, but who could pass a patisserie without going inside? In Spain, there is paella, and who could not like a bit of German sausage? As for Italy, I'm a. great lover of pasta, and, of course, their wonderful wines!"

When the interviewer asked her about her views on Greece, she said:

"Ah, now you're asking important questions! If we take, for example, Taramasalata, that is essentially a word where every second letter is an 'a', or Moussaka, or even Dolmades, you can see why I worried, and still worry, about leaving the EU."

She doesn't bear grudges, however:

"I believe in democracy. Many of my friends voted to leave, and everyone has to make up their own mind. I just think that, English food being rather bland, we'd have been better off staying in the EU and enjoying all those marvellous dishes."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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