Legendary Swindon 105.5FM radio celebrity Brian Anorak has had his lawnmower stolen and claims that mainstream media are ignoring the story as, ‘It doesn’t fit their narrative’.
Brian, whose problem-solving radio show, ‘Ask the Anorak’, which helps dozens of listeners a month, is asking for help after his 1973 Hickston-Brax 4 stroke cylinder lawn mower was stolen.
‘It’s very distinctive,’ said Brian, ‘it’s a limited edition model with the inverted viscosity nozzle and it makes a not unpleasant clackity-clack due to a worn flange-reflex throggle stop.’
Although the police have investigated there is minimal media interest. ‘I know two people who’ve had lawn mowers stolen in the last 6 month in the South of England,’ said Brian, ‘It’s a crime wave conspiracy and someone is protecting these thieves. Last year a fellow lawn mower connoisseur had his wheels and grass box stolen, which is half a lawn mower, that’s a year-on-year rise of 300%.’
Brian posted a desperate plea on the Hickston-Brax FB group and received some derogatory comments for being a nerdy pedant.
‘If I was a pedant I’d still be reading Hickston-Brax Collectors Monthly, which, since Februarys disgusting centre spread, I don’t. I mean who wants to see an all electric rotary mower - children see that magazine.’
Brian retains the original user guide but without the lawn mower he feels that’s a bit superfluous.
‘I bet only 3% of my friends repost this,’ said a sad Brian.
