Area Dad: Lawn needs to be cut this weekend

Funny story written by Adam J. Hushin

Wednesday, 22 July 2020

image for Area Dad: Lawn needs to be cut this weekend
Dad will mow the lawn this weekend

Although local woman Alexa Britzner was only half paying attention, her dad was just saying that he thinks he’s going to cut the lawn this weekend.

This announcement came despite the fact that 84% of neighbors think the lawn looks fine.

“[The grass] doesn’t look too tall to me,” Greg Grint, from two houses down, said when asked his opinion about the Britzner lawn.

Britzner, however, said that she was not shocked by the announcement, saying that her dad does this all the time.

“Usually two or three days before, I’ll notice him intently staring outside at the yard, and I know what’s going to come next,” Britzner said. “Then he’ll announce to everyone in the house, multiple times, his intentions to mow the lawn the next opportunity he gets.”

According to Britzner, this cycle takes place year after year, despite no one ever giving any discernible reaction to the announcements.

The announcement usually comes with a stipulation that dad won’t mow the lawn if it happens to rain this weekend, which he hopes it doesn’t, Britzner said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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