The somewhat small but enthusiastic world of collectable lawn mowers is today buzzing with excitement as a crime victim is reunited with his beloved stolen Hickston-Brax 4 stroke cylinder lawn mower. Brian Anorak, who was temporarily only in posse…
Legendary Swindon 105.5FM radio celebrity Brian Anorak has had his lawnmower stolen and claims that mainstream media are ignoring the story as, ‘It doesn’t fit their narrative’. Brian, whose problem-solving radio show, ‘Ask the Anorak’, which help…
Residents of Swindon, seeing the benefits of not engaging with social media, ‘Technobreaking’, are currently the hottest trending subject - not that residents of Swindon are aware of it. Relationship counsellor Angel Elphinstone has been telling c…
The war on the trade in illegally harvested orgasms is becoming more intense as the 3-year waiting list for NHS orgasm transfusion is leaving patients desperate and gagging. “Orgasm harvesting is intrusive, debilitating and messy,” said Brenda O’…
At Swindon magistrates court today, PC Harverson gave evidence he’d stopped Mr Brendan O’Lox driving his car to inform him his lights weren’t working. “The defendant said, ‘Thanks, but it’s not my car. I’ve just stolen it. Can I get the lights fix…
Reports of the Man-bun, once the preserve of post pseudo-hipsters (real hipsters wouldn’t be seen dead with one), migrating to the heads of middle-aged men in lockdown, has resulted in ‘Questions in the House’. As barbers and hairdressers return t…
The band, Silicon Weather, who once had hundreds of followers on MySpace, are now in a state of shock after their lead singer, Richie Yellow, 41, abandoned all musical integrity, and joined a covers band. Johnny the guitarist, 43, said ‘I don’t un…
The pseudo political graffiti & street art known around the world and worth millions is being artistically painted over by the legend known as Blanksy. “I do see my self as an urban artistic crusader,” Blanksy said, “with a mission to paint ov…
The play ‘My happy childhood, successful career and great marriage’ has shocked fringe theatre organisers, as the audience didn’t leave, wanting to commit suicide. “I’ve been curating the ‘The Swinge’ (The Swindon Fringe) since before the mass aud…
Swindon Town 0 Leyton Orient 1 The O's end the 23 home match unbeaten run of Swindon. I imagine Paulo Di Canio has promised to sack all of the players and make them train in their undies on one of the towns many roundabouts unless they apologize and write 100 lines 'I MUST DO BETTER' Crewe Alexandra 0 Tranmere Rovers 0 The first goalless draw at Gresty Road in over a year saw Tranmere drop t...
Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio has launched a scathing political attack on centre forward Leon Clarke after their Carling Cup defeat by Southampton. The striker, who was recently 'released' by QPR for "lack of effort", had been heralded by Di...
Residents of Swindon had a lucky escape yesterday after a UFO crash landed full of Hydras on a health tourism trip. The Hydras had incorrectly heard that the UK has a first class health service and had flown all the way from Pluto. One of the hydras is a Siamese Hydra meaning that it has 16 heads instead of the normal 8 and had heard that it could be successfully operated on. The Siamese Hy...
On the day that Swindon was officially recognised as Britain's dumbest town, Skoob Entertainment News reporters came across a compulsive liar who insisted that popular TV show the X-Factor couldn't possibly be fixed. Jethro Ooarr, 27, told SEN tha...
Swindon, Wilts - UK - Doctors are baffled (copyright:rentacliche.con) as to why Swindon man and self-confessed genetic freak Lazlo O'Grady was born with two arse holes. It appears that Lazlo O'Grady has one arse hole for the usual designated funct...
Sidney, a baby bacon porker was hospitalised this morning after contracting the NY1DO1 Skoob flu virus. The patient complained of severe pains in the nether regions, outpourings of pointless verbosity, a sudden craving for alcoholic beverages, severe...
That wanker, Jeremy Clarkson, is at it again! The Top Gear host has reacted to the news that Swindon Council are to remove Speed Cameras on the town's roads by advising members of his viewing audience to: "Get down to Wiltshire! The cameras are down!...
Shoppers in Swindon looked on in amazement yesterday afternoon as a man brandishing a toy gun ran through the city centre bobbing and weaving, taking cover behind litter bins, and firing off imaginary bullets at imaginary targets. The man sparked...
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