Legendary secretive street artist named, then identified, and is a bit dull

Funny story written by sean hodgson

Sunday, 19 July 2020

image for Legendary secretive street artist named, then identified, and is a bit dull
Far too colourful and garish

The pseudo political graffiti & street art known around the world and worth millions is being artistically painted over by the legend known as Blanksy.

“I do see my self as an urban artistic crusader,” Blanksy said, “with a mission to paint over the garish and somewhat poorly-spelt graffiti that blights our cities, and thereby create a calm, gentrified environment, for nice people.”

Known for his signature ‘Blanksy Beige’, he stalks the streets in the early hours with paintbrush in hand, or so we thought. “I feel the urge to correct you on three points. Firstly, my name is Bryan Blank, and that’s Bryan with a ’y’ if you please. Secondly, I paint between 5.30pm and 8pm after a hard day's Health and Safety advising in Swindon, and thirdly, I haven’t used beige for 6 months; I’ve moved on.”

Bryan pointed out his colours vary considerably from ‘Doctors Waiting Room Magnolia’ to ‘Hospital Waiting Room Oatmeal’, and occasionally ‘Fraser Crane’s Harvest Gold Carpet’. Bryan added, “I like to use a variety of colours that reflect different facets of my personality.”

What is the future for Blanksy? “Naturally, I have a quite a following by more flamboyant street artists, as can be seen by this wall I painted yesterday in ‘November Rain’.”

The wall in question was covered in psychedelic graffiti.

“My following follows me around,” muttered a despondent Bryan, “so they can take advantage of my neutral blank tones.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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