‘Hi, Bros. I’m having a tough time’ Letter from Bank of England Governor to chancellor loses its formality

Funny story written by sean hodgson

Saturday, 18 July 2020

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The BoE Governor, Andrew Bailey, has a duty to inform the Chancellor whenever national finances aren’t on track, but a leaked copy reveals ‘Could we perhaps reverse things and instead I’ll write when things are looking better? That means I won’t have to write so often.’

With so many staff on furlough, it’s been all hands to the pumps, or rather, printing press, including Mr Bailey getting a bit inky. ‘I’m printing the money as fast as I can, but I’m running out of drying room space. We used the canteen, but someone left the kettle on, and it got a bit steamy. Now that’s another £3 billion that’s a bit smudgy - sorry about that.’

The change of tone in the letter also reflects the pressure the Governor is under: ‘I appreciate you letting me have a few duvet days, and I’ve managed to catch up with your Peaky Blinders box set. You’re right - series four’s 1929 Stock Market crash was like a training video - happy times, eh?’

Some of the letter does indicate the Governor is thinking creatively. ‘The thing is, Rishi, I’m not sure how much longer we can keep this up. Maybe we should rethink the idea of converting to a food bank or even a sperm bank, not for the populace, of course. I’m talking about our end-of-the-world scenario we discussed at Davos. PS Can you return Breaking Bad please? Yours Andy.’

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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