Alabama To Shut Down the Alabama-Georgia Border Due to the C-19 Pandemic

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 27 April 2020

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Alabama has issued a ban on Georgia peaches.

MONTGOMERY – The Alabama state senate, in an emergency session, has voted 97-3 to close the border between Alabama and Georgia.

State Senator Ezra Follymuddle, told the media that it is obvious that the “Peach State” does not care about their people one damn iota.

He went on to say that Alabama, known as “The State With Balls”, cares about her people regardless of race, religion, political affiliation, or dietary preferences.

The senator was joined by fellow Senator Phoebe Belle Rainwater, who echoed his sentiments.

Senator Rainwater, 73, divulged that she’s never really liked Georgia, simply because she cannot stand peaches, and those little bastards grow all over the state.

The madam senator, pointed out that she even once saw a peach tree growing inside the cooking area of a McDonalds kitchen in Valdosta, Georgia.

“And don’t get me started on peach cobbler, peach tacos, and peach beer,” the senator said, shaking her head.

The governor of Alabama has now issued an official state statement: “Hey y'all, let me make this as crystal clear as I possibly can. Dadburnit, if any Alabamian goes to Georgia, then by cracky, you just ain’t gonna be allowed to bring your ass back to ‘bama. And I don’t give a possum’s ass, if it’s my own beer-guzzlin’ Uncle Jasper, who loves the hell out of peach pizza.”

The state of Alabama has issued a ban on Georgia peaches. If a citizen of Alabama is caught with Georgia peaches in his or her possession, they will be hit with a fine of $700.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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