Vera Smythe still hasn't started the painting she has been planning to do for years. The sprightly 73-year-old had always hoped to paint a masterpiece when she had the time, but even though she has been in Lockdown for four months, she still hasn't started it.
'Well, I was going to start it, but then I remembered I had a box-set of Rosemary and Thyme to watch, and that took a while. Then I had all of my Mills and Boon books to catch up with, and the kettle won't descale itself, and I needed to make an interior life for the cat. I have been too busy to even think about what form that painting will take.'
Tiddles, Vera's cat, said: 'I have no interior life. I eat the disgusting food she puts in my tray, I lick myself in intimate spaces, and I think about the downfall of the world. I am quite easy to maintain, really.'