Man Adheres To Government's Social-Distancing Rules, Despite Wife's Efforts To Get Back Into House

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 5 April 2020

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Completely meets the government's recommendations

The UK government has stressed it is one hundred per cent serious about its Coronavirus social-distancing rules, that's what one man just couldn't seem to get his wife to understand, this week, as she repeatedly tried to get back into their home in Hull.

Myke Woodson, 56, had taken careful note of advice on social-distancing, and, as he had no intentions of flouting it, or having it flouted, he left £20 on the table on Wednesday morning, with a note asking his other half to pick up a few things from the supermarket.

He then hid in the shed.

A locksmith, Myke waited for his wife to go out, then changed the locks on his doors.

When his wife returned, she thought it was some kind of April Fool's Day prank, and, even though Myke assured her from the safety of an upstairs window that it was not, she remained outside the property, begging to be allowed inside.

To no avail.

He looked at the newspaper, rang a friend, read a book, made his tea, then had a bath, as his wife tried, and re-tried, to gain access to their home of 30 years.

Being a sentimental old softie, however, Myke couldn't withstand the sound of his wife's constant sobbing any longer, and, just after 11pm, threw her a pillow and a blanket out of the window, along with the keys to his shed.

After a long discussion, the pair have now agreed to change places every seven days.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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