Fat Man And His Fatter Wife Unable To Social-Distance Adequately Due To Being Morbidly Obese

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 6 April 2020

image for Fat Man And His Fatter Wife Unable To Social-Distance Adequately Due To Being Morbidly Obese
Either Richard or Julie Blobby - you choose

A man and his wife who are both fat bastards, have said they are unable to comply with the government's advice on social-distancing because of their issues with obesity.

Richard and Julie Blobby, from Hull in East Yorkshire, both weigh around 20 stone, and their armpits probably sing. They are both unemployed, but, courtesy of the excellent UK welfare benefits system, this does not interfere with their busy caravanning holiday schedule, nor their consumption of hamburgers and hot dogs whilst away.

The Blobbys live in a rented bungalow with a living-room in which there is no room to swing a cat - not that they haven't tried. When their huge armchairs and sofa have been dropped into this tiny space, staying 6 feet away from each other - an attractive proposition for strangers - becomes a physical impossibility.

Next-door neighbour, Val Kenwood, said:

"Them fat buggers cart stay 6 feet away from each other - the rintinuf roomin the rouse!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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