BILLINGSGATE POST: Two days after British health minister Matt Hancock said he had tested positive for coronavirus and was self-isolating at home with mild symptoms, he announced that a countrywide ban on sheep threesomes was forthcoming.
Coincidentally, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that he, too, had tested positive for the virus.
Speculation that this ban was the result of a disastrous ménage a trois that included Messrs. Johnson and Hancock, plus an unnamed sheep, provided tabloids with headlines not seen since Harry Maguire joined Manchester United last year.
In the country where Dolly (The Sheep) was first cloned, measures to protect sheep have largely ignored the penchant of those gifted by heredity to engage in sexual congress with a woolly friend.
It has been suggested that the use of a “Hertfordshire pole” might be indicated in such cases. The pole, which has a mirror dangling from the end, is placed in front of the sheep’s head to see if it is smiling while being poked from behind by his suitor.
Slim: “I thought that only happened in Montana.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Can’t blame the Brits. No football anymore.”
