ATLANTA – (Satire News) – After an unfavorable critique in The Right Coast Revue, the Georgia-based sandwich giant, Arby's, has promised to do better. Arby’s spokesperson Poindexter F. Cypress stated that the allegations that some of Arby’s roast…
(New York, New York) Cher Ami, an ordinary New York City pigeon named after the famous British homing pigeon, is suffering from extreme depression and downright anger now that the city has entered its sixth week of lockdown. We caught up with Cher on...
Today, London's Trafalgar Square has new masters - winged, feathered rats, strutting confidently over the white-stained concrete to fight over the remains of a packet of chicken nuggets. Now that the humans have disappeared, the pigeons are in charge...
Fed up with constantly being regarded as a symbol of peace, a dove named Dave, from New York City, admitted to feeling unfairly pigeonholed. “I’ve got nothing against peace, of course,” said Dave. “But I also experience a whole range of other emot...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Even the most crazed Trump supporters couldn’t believe that when Air Force One landed yesterday in Las Vegas for a giant Trump rally, that they would witness a miracle. Speaking of miracles, the president opened the rally by in...
A man was removed from an ASDA in Plymouth after becoming enraged at a number of “Gay Pride Gnomes” that the megastore was selling. The man who is known locally for his love of bellowing at pigeons and claiming tall trees are part of the “queer a...
A new combat force of highly trained prison pigeons is to be released around the walls of all UK prisons to combat illegal drones penetrating security because "pigs cannot fly" and prison officers neither! The Pigeon force will attack drones buzzi...
A sportsman's club in Pennsylvania claims an animal rights group tormented its members with "emotional violence" to protest its using pigeons for target shooting. Philadelphia Gun & Hunting Inc. filed a federal lawsuit against the animal right...
Harold Gillis told everyone gathered around him that he was sorry that he had cut down the wrong tree and crushed the old lady and several pigeons she was feeding. "Look, it could happen to any of us. We think the tree is going to fall a certain w...
CHICAGO - A year long study that was conducted by the reputable Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has stated that in the area of basic research studies more research is actually needed. A highly respected representative with ADGA Bagby B. Buckleyb...
Head bobbing, foot tapping, arm flapping movement has started appearing in London clubs across the capital, London. Called simply Pigeon it is more than a dance craze, it's a dress sense, a diet and a way of life. "I'm a Pigeon," said Paul Bunner,...
After the stunning success of Sir Alex Ferguson having his statue revealed at the Theatre of Dreams in Manchester, the United Nations, FIFA and Jaggedone (who?), have decided to erect statues to some of the world's greatest arseholes in places where masses of pigeons (and other birds) can shit all over them (SAF is not an arsehole BTW!). The statues would then become symbols of human madness an...
UK intelligence agency GCHQ has spent weeks attempting to decipher a secret WWII message found on a dead pigeons leg that was discovered up a chimney in leafy Surrey. After initially appealing to the public for help they've finally cracked it them...
The Chinese Communist Party has taken all precautions to avoid any form of spying during their conference in Beijing and has banned ping pong balls, vehicles driving with open windows and all pigeon-spies that normally circle over the conference cent...
Animal welfare groups warned yesterday that the streets of Britain may soon be virtually impassable as they become clogged with morbidly overweight pigeons. According to bird and wildlife protectionist Percy Nobbleton, the flying rats' diet has ev...
Police in Dorking claim to have won a major victory in the war on drugs after impounding a local pigeon racer's birds. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed response unit, visited an address in Mafeking L...
The age-old problem of pigeons using statues as toilets is set to become a thing of the past after scientists this week introduced a new anti-pigeon device, the Spiker. The Spiker is a tiny needle that hides inside the head of the statue - when an...
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