Police Facial Recognition Technique Plans Doomed To Failure

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 25 January 2020

image for Police Facial Recognition Technique Plans Doomed To Failure
This look is set to become very popular - possibly with sunglasses

The Metroploitan Police have announced that they will use facial recognition cameras on London streets later this year, to identify and catch people suspected of having committed crimes, but, claims a bloke who knows what he's on about, the plan is doomed to failure.

The Met say the cameras will be used for "five to six hours a day", but ordinary folk have said it amounts to a withdrawal of their civil liberties.

Many people are worried they might be mistakenly identified for a crime they did not commit, as opposed to one they did.

Moys Kenwood, 56, said:

"There are numerous ways around this invasion of your privacy. One is to wear a face mask; another to wear sunglasses; or you could try a gas mask or Groucho Marx glasses-and-moustache disguise. You could even sport a motorcycle helmet, regardless of whether or not you own a motorcycle."

Gladys Walnut, 92, of Pimlico, said:

"I often go into central London to do me shopping, but, from now on, I'll wear a big scarf across me fizzog."

And unemployed Gary Smackhead, laughed:

"I'm gonna wear a cardboard box on my head, with holes cut out for eyes."

According to Muslim leaders, the change will not affect women wearing burqas.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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