Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Thursday, 24 October 2019

image for Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend
Yes...you've got...er...a.....nice....err....pair of err.....shoulders yes shoulders yes I'm not creepy.

A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some of his pre-prepared lines at them, all while trying to initiate some body contact, and generally just be weird as fuck.

A police spokesman said:

"This weirdo came to our attention after he approached two schoolgirls in a back alley, and tried to kiss one. He had a YouTube channel set up for other borderline sex cases to watch him fumble and grope his way round Glasgow. You’d have to laugh if the guy wasn’t a serious danger to women."

Addy A-Game was unavailable for comment as we aren’t women, and he couldn’t attempt to push his crotch up against us like a horny porcupine.

His lawyer gave a brief statement after Addy was sentenced and forced to sign the sex offenders register, saying:

"My client is an idiot. Anyone who thinks they can strut around calling themselves Addy A-Game harassing women in public spaces has clearly got deep-seated problems. What those problems are……fucked if I know, but he’s got them, that’s for sure. Anyway, he’s away for a bit, but I’ve no doubt he’ll be straight back up to mischief the second he gets out, though."

We at Back and to the Left news hope that his pickup techniques are effective in the prison shower.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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