A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some...
Kelsey Grammar, the widely-adored and intellectual humorist, has filed a lawsuit with the Hollywood Supreme Court claiming that the widely-avoided and misanthropic director David Cronenberg has "totally ripped off" his popular and much-loved "Frasier...
A Chiswick organist has been accused of performing vibrato on an elderly woman in a church vestry. Turnham Green resident Humphrey Nonce was allegedly seen with 69 year old Doris Clunge sitting on his organ by local cleaner Chiswick Flo: "I wa...
A pensioner nicknamed 'Der Fuhrer' has been arrested at a Dorking car boot sale for spreading Nazi propaganda. The local recluse, Adolf Nonce , lives in a bungalow just outside Dorking called 'The Berlin Bunker'. Herr Nonce, who according to h...
A secret dossier revealing intimate sexual details about Chelsea footballers has been found on a park bench in West London. The 69 page document, containing measurements and diagrams, was compiled over several years by new Chelsea Manager Andre Vi...
Eric Nonce, a retired Maths teacher from Dorking, has put his high IQ to good use. He has predicted every Ladies Champion at the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament since 1969. Mr Nonce, who operates from a shed in Dorking, consults Tide Tables to analyse...
Lord Humphrey Nonce QC was left cursing his bad luck at Royal Ascot yesterday. The 'Sporting Judge', who part owns a leg of the game filly Kinky Afro, watched as the nag pulled up short in The Buckingham Palace Stakes over 7 Furlongs. With the...
Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce has been refused entry to this year's Eastbourne Open Ladies Tennis Tournament. Happily married Nonce, 69, from Dorking, was ejected from the court last time round after "looking up ladies' skirts". Eastbourne...
Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce faces further questioning by Dorking Vice Squad. The member of the public has already been named as the one who used crossword expertise to 'out' Celebrity Imogen Thomas as' A Smooth Minge' during a local Surrey Qu...
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