SNP Daewoo Deepfry

Funny story written by Doubting Thomas

Saturday, 14 September 2019

image for SNP Daewoo Deepfry
We tried to keep him away, sorry....

Initial Impressions

The deepfry is actually a solid and reliable vehicle despite its rather poor history. It does still sadly have a tendency to only go in one direction, and to break down when put under pressure. As usual, it is badly let down by a highly unrelaible SatNav system that refuses to understand English, and can only ever go north.

Handling & Drivability

Sadly, has a very one-directional driving system, which many, including long-term fans have criticized for being too inflexible. Is completely unable to turn left or right, but simply ploughs ahead regardless of anything in front of it. Isn't helped by a poor driving position which is extremely uncomfortable to all but Rangers or Celtic supporters.

Equipment and Trim

Let's not make any bones about this. Everything is covered in either batter or tartan, including the dashboard. It's rare outside Aberdeen restaurants to find a deep-fried spare tyre, but one of these is included as standard. The basic trim comes in two varieties, a "Fuck the English" trim, or a "Really Fuck the English" trim, both of which come with a free bottle of Buckfast and off-peak rail ticket to London.

Safety and Security

In short, none, as, sooner or later, it will be set on fire by a drunken Glaswegian, because you wouldn't lend him a fag.

Running Costs

Currently, these run to anywhere between £18million to £4.2billion per year. Very cheap for school runs or students unless you're English, in which case running costs are automatically trebled due to pure hatred. Also has a tendency to crash into similar models, resulting in massive and unnecessary bills. Buyers should also avoid the "Rapy Salmond" version at all costs.

Overall Opinion

A sadly once-reliable and fun vehicle from a minor manufacturer that has now declined into hatred and racism with no warranty or export market.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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