Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 29 August 2019

image for Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise

With just over two months to go before the October 31 deadline, when Britain will walk away from the EU, most likely on a 'no-deal' basis, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has thrown a giant spanner into the works of government, by deciding to suspend parliament.

Political analysts were quick to comment.

One wit said that Jacob Rees-Mogg should be suspended from a lamp-post outside 10 Downing Street, whilst Michael Gove might be suspended from Tower Bridge.

Someone else that might be suspended is Diane Abbott - from Big Ben - as well as her fellow Labour colleagues, Stephen Crabb and John Cruddas, from anywhere convenient.

There have been calls for House of Commons Speaker, John Bercow, to be suspended in formaldehyde, but no response has yet been received from Damien Hirst.

Former Brexit Secretary, David Davis, will be suspended upside-down by the testicles from the Big Wheel at Hull Fair in early October, as the Countdown to Disaster begins.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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