Harry Maguire To Clear Up Brexit Mess

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 6 August 2019

image for Harry Maguire To Clear Up Brexit Mess
Maguire fixing his tie, then he'll be off to fix Brexit

Harry Maguire, Manchester United's new central defender who signed for the Reds from Leicester City on Monday for £80million, is to enter the world of politics.

His first job will be to clear up the Brexit mess.

Maguire has no political affiliations, neither does he have any political experience or opinions, having professed, more than once, to be uninterested in politics. However, after being asked by new Prime Minister Boris Johnson, to "help out" with negotiations with the EU, the world's most expensive defender said he would see what he could do.

Speaking from the Old Trafford training ground, he said:

"Well, you know, I don't like all that political, House of Commonsy sort of crappy bollox, but, if it'll help the country out, then I'm more than willing to pull my weight, and do my bit."

Maguire will be leaving for Brussels when he gets up in morning, and is expected back in Manchester in time for his tea.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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