Leading Brexiteers have once again condemned the “elite agenda” and vowed to “fight this injustice” all the way to the European Court of Human Rights.
Vincent Fuller, raging twonk, has been found guilty of attempted murder after thrusting a knife through the window of a car in a attempted stabbing of a Bulgarian man.
Before the attack, Mr Fuller had been wanking himself silly over the New Zealand Christchurch killings (where 51 Muslims where murdered by a coward who we won’t name) and posting racist shit on Facebook.
His last post being:
"I am English, no matter what the government say. Kill all the non-English and get them out of England."
Mike Gabbs from the International Brexiteer Alliance said:
"It’s PC madness gone mad, isn’t it? If a man can’t post racist, nasty things on his social media account, then try and go on a racially motivated stabbing spree, then….well, you might as well arrest all us patriots right away."
Mr Fuller has denied that this was an act of far right terrorism, despite screaming that he was “going to kill a Muslim” moments before the attack.
Mike Gabbs agreed with our suggestion that “seriously dude, don’t try and defend this piece of shit,” but he countered with:
"We all know how immersive video games are these days, and Mr Fuller could have believed he was still playing one when he went into the car park that day. I mean, when you play FIFA, you don’t actually believe you’re Messi, do you? Of course not, that would be silly."
Mr Fuller had already paid a visit to his neighbour, who is of Southeast Asian descent (a pattern
perhaps), with a baseball bat, but Mr Gibb deflected this, saying:
"As we all know, Asians are very fond of baseball, and Mr Fuller was probably just showing him his new bat. Once again, the EU-led mafia media are stirring up hatred to the average working Joe."
Mr Fuller will be sentenced in September, but if his lawyer can push the date back to November, he’ll probably get a knighthood instead of a custodial.