In another blow to British democracy, Scandinavian and Mediterranean skeletons have been found buried in an ancient graveyard in Anglesey. Heroic Brexiteers have rushed to the tiny cemetery in their thousands to show their displeasure at the find.
Nigel Farage, speaking on his radio show (which will NEVER take our calls) said:
"When I was a lad you could go down to the local graveyard, dig up a body and be 100% sure that the body would be that of a brave, noble Englishman. But after the events of today not even our burial sites are sacred, it seems."
After pausing to sip from a golden goblet, and readjust the shimmering ruby-encrusted crown that adorned his head, he said:
"This is yet another example of the metropolitan elite dictating to the average British person about what they know, and what they don’t. We can’t and we won’t accept anything but complete and total disassociation with foreigners, and if that means digging up the bodies of anyone who can’t prove their British heritage back to the time of King Arthur, then so be it."
The archaeological company behind the find had described it as “an amazing piece of history”. They were quickly shouted down, as patriotic Brexiteers stormed their filthy Remoaner offices and started smashing up everything that was invented after 1950.
John Brexit (he legally changed his name after the vote in 2016) said:
"Yet another Remoaner plot has been smashed! This is a victory for the common man and woman, but, more importantly, this is a victory for Brexit."