The Flying Frenchman

Written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 6 August 2019

Brexiteers were once again up in arms, legs and heads today as Frenchman, Franky Zapata, made a solo flight across the English Channel on a Flyboard, a move that is said to have shook hardline 'no deal' MPs to their core, and stiffened their resolve to give Brussels a bloody nose!

Several heroic hardline Brexiteer MPs have even called for Franky's arrest on the grounds of “being a foreigner”. Mark Francois, self-appointed guardian of the British faith and service, said:

"This is 1944 all over again! The last frantic push through the Ardennes to throw our boys back into the sea. Well, I’ve looked Major Merkel in the eye, and I’ve said “not today, Jerry”. If he tries anything like that again, I would wholeheartedly support the government scrambling the Battle of Britain memorial flight.That’ll show him!"

Embattled Brexiteers took to digging trenches in their front gardens, in case anymore flying Frenchmen took to the skies. Many in rural villages were concerned including Susan Scabies, who said:

"It’s terrifying! At any moment, the newly-formed EU flying army, that Farage warned us about, could come over and force us all to start speaking German and French. Well, I don’t remember what it was like during the war, but I bet it was exactly like this. We’ve already built ourselves an Anderson shelter, and shot our Muslim neighbours."

The inventor had tried the journey once before but crashed in the sea on a refuelling stop. Notable Brexiteer patriot groups have vowed to stand watch day and night on the white cliffs to ensure it never happens again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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