Train's a Brawling

Written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 6 August 2019

Seven grown men were arrested today, after a football-related brawl on the London tube, in the build up to the friendly match between Manchester City and Liverpool. Shocking videos of the incident emerged showing people's grandads drunkenly swinging punches at each other, while hopping around like constipated rabbits.

The men, described as “tossers” by onlookers, began fighting over whose football team was the best.

PC Damon Gillford said: "A group of men began fighting with a completely different group of men. Men they had never met before. The fight started over the sporting capabilities of a group of men, men neither group of fighting men had ever met before."

Most people will condemn football violence as a relic of football's past, but, just like chucking bananas at black players, some arseholes just can’t let it go.

Tommy Bobinson of the London Hooligans Alliance, said:

"Some people think were just being mindlessly violent...

*He head butts a window*

...but we know better. Although every football player knows what his team's firm's doing, and supports it, they just can’t say so on TV. They know that without the violence on the streets, they couldn’t win on the pitch. Sticking a glass bottle in an opposition fan's neck is the best way to show your support for anything!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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