Labour Party comes down hard on alleged AntiJeremysm

Written by Steddyeddy

Sunday, 21 July 2019

image for Labour Party comes down hard on alleged AntiJeremysm
Jezza in good form.

In an unexpected development, the UK Layabout Party declared that it will do its upmost to eradicate the scourge of AntiJeremysm that is sweeping the party.

From now on, it will be a capital offence, er, sorry, a CAPITAL OFFENCE, to describe Comrade Jeremy as "Magic Grandpa", "Grandpa Steptoe", "The Allotment Beardie", or as the "Charismatic Leader of the Party".

Issuing this statement, written by the party's scriptwriting robot, Herr Doktor Death Windy Milliner, a senior spokesman said the party intended to eradicate AntiJeremysm more quickly than something that is otherwise very quickly indeed.

The Shadow Secretary of State for Paperclips, Dynamite Addup said that it was the only way forward for pushing the envelope, engendering ring-fenced out of the box AND blue-sky thinking. And a good excuse for a party.

From now on, otherwise referred to as "going forward", the Layabout Party has the express intention of becoming a beacon of light and a trend-setter in UK politics. All Party members will henceforth insist that, yes, they may be present, but when it comes to AntiJeremysm, they will definitely not be involved, even for wreath-laying ceremonies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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