During a break in a recent Brexit meeting, members of the cabinet and leading Brexiteers were recorded playing a game of the popular parlour game Charades. The transcript of the recording is as follows:
David Davis: Is it a film?
Theresa May: It's a film.
Boris Johnson: Could it also be a book?
Theresa May: It's a film.
Philip Hammond: Could you give us a clue?
Theresa May: It's a film.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: What's a film?
Boris Johnson: It's a cinematoscope, er... a kind of moving daguerreotype projection.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: How terribly modern!
Philip Hammond: How many words?
Theresa May: It's a film. A film is a film.
Boris Johnson: Is it The Great Escape?
Theresa May: No.
David Davis: Is it Dambusters?
Theresa May: No.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: Is it Birth Of A Nation?
Theresa May: No.
Boris Johnson: The Longest Day?
Theresa May: No.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: Battleship Potemkin?
Theresa May: No.
Philip Hammond: Wall Street?
Theresa May: No. None of you got the right answer. It was actually the Eurovision Song Contest.
Boris Johnson: That's not a film!
Theresa May: Yes it is. It's on television and it's very long.
David Davis: But it's not in cinemas!
Boris Johnson: And it's not on VHS either.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: What's VHS?
Boris Johnson: Oh, it's like a phonographic record for showing films.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: How terribly modern!
Philip Hammond: We can't accept that. You've completely misused the definition of a film.
Theresa May: Can we all agree that the Eurovision Song Contest is a film?
All: No.
Theresa May: But the only categories are a film or a book!
Philip Hammond: That's not true, you could have a song or a television programme.
Theresa May: I don't know any songs.
Philip Hammond: But your charade is the Eurovision Song Contest.
Theresa May: Yes but I don't watch it.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: What's a book?
Boris Johnson: Er.. a set of pages printed using a Gutenberg press with movable type.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: Oh, you mean the Bible?
Boris Johnson: Sort of.
Theresa May: Can we at least agree that the Eurovision Song Contest is not a book?
All: Yes.
Theresa May: Good, then I win. It's still my turn since none of you guessed it. The next one is also a film.
