Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 20 March 2019

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600 more seconds, and that's your lot!

Prime Minister Theresa May is jubilant this morning after securing a promise from the EU to delay the Brexit process - by 10 minutes.

Britain is due to leave the European Union on 29 March.

The British government has been trying to organise the terms under which the country would leave the EU for almost three years without success, and any further delay at this late stage would seem to smack of desperation, not to mention a meaningless waste of time and effort.

EU Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier echoed this, when he said:

"The British government has been trying to organise the terms under which the country would leave the EU for almost three years without success, and any further delay at this late stage would seem to smack of desperation, not to mention a meaningless waste of time and effort."

The opinions of many analysts are that Mrs. May's government has been deliberately stalling for time during this extremely long negotiation period, in the twofold hope that Brexiteers would be seen as the people who have been delaying the process, through unreasonable demands, and that they, themselves, could not have been blamed for the unprecedented mess the country has got itself into, by virtue of the fact that, despite doing just the opposite, they appear to be trying to facilitate what the nation voted for in the referendum.

Even so, the EU has not totally given up on May's government. Barnier:

"Whilst we feel like any delay will be pointless, we are willing to allow Mrs May an extra ten minutes. We had thought about half-an-hour, but ten minutes is plenty of time for one to clear one's desk."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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