Mad Racist "Bint" - Not Evil Enough, Say Tories

Written by Doubting Thomas

Wednesday, 20 February 2019

The recent furore surrounding a teenage psychopath refused entry into the UK for tearing up her passport and supporting swivel-eyed loonies, has reached fever pitch, with a number of senior politicians expressing their opinions, our Making-Up-Political-Shit correspondent says.

"Apart from the teeth and the eyes, I'd do her," said a blond motoring Journalist, famous for misquoting Latin.

"Definitely not hateful or racist enough - really not a true Tory," said a mad vicar's daughter.

"She fuckin hates Jews, so gets my vote," a beardy twat was quoted as saying.

"My nanny says I should buy her, but not sure she's evil enough," said a prominent MP for the 18th century.

Other opinions range from "Grab torches and ptchforks" to "Only if her fat sister said no".

"She has the face of a pig, brains of a root vegetable, and a consuming hatred of all humanity," is a favourite quote in local insane asylums such as Westminster. By all accounts, this would make her a perfect SNP candidate.

"No feckin likely," our SNP sources have said. "She does na hate them English twats enough."

We tried to contact a LibDem for comment, but, apparently, it was his night for cookery class, and he had his phone switched off.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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