So-called Prime Minister, Theresa May, admitted today that she has had enough, and has consequently submitted her own letter of no confidence in her leadership to Sir Graham Brady, chair of the 1922 Committee of backbench Conservatives. Mrs May will face a fight for her leadership if 48 Tory MPs put it in writing that they have also lost confidence in her.
Should Sir Graham Brady indeed receive enough letters, then a secret ballot is triggered. If she loses the ballot, there will be a leadership election, and Mrs May will not be allowed to run.
Mrs May spoke to the political editor of The Spoof, Paxton Quigley.
"As I was coming out of church on Sunday morning, I was feeling spiritually refreshed, thinking of roast chicken for Sunday lunch, and looking forward to Philip's pork stuffing when it came to me. Fuck it, I thought. I've had enough, let's call their bluff.
"John Major had his bastards, while I've got a whole nest full of backstabbing vipers and a sackful of madcap idiots. A leadership contest is just what I need to put the shitheads in their place. I mean, who the fuck do they want as leader, Bozo? Scottish Tories already have their Operation Arse planned to stop him.
"Who else is there? Dumbo Davis, who was scared to set foot in Brussels? Dominic Raaaab, who failed geography GCSE? Liam Fox...hahahaha! They've got no-one who even wants this job, not even in the cabinet, so I've asked them all to write in as well.
"Come on then, if you think you're hard enough."