Written by Jools PM

Thursday, 15 November 2018

image for Jacob Rees-Mogg diagnosed with Brexitosis
Jacob Rees-Mogg

Sources close to tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg (49) the MP for Somerset constituency of Much Gurning have confirmed what has been long feared, that he has been diagnosed with Brexitosis, something which is affecting an increasing number of MPs at Westminster, particularly on the government benches.

Those closest to Mr Rees-Mogg have reported a foul smell that suffuses the air around him whenever he speaks about Brexit. It became particularly strong and offensive earlier today as he was talking up the possibility of a bright future after a 'no deal' Brexit. The odour has been described as smelling like Bovine excrement, although this has yet to be officially confirmed. Several journalists had to be taken to hospital as a precaution, after attending an impromptu press conference given by the MP outside the palace of Westminster, after the Prime Minister's Commons statement on the Brexit deal. Experts have said that only a second referendum would be an effective treatment, and that, at present, there is no known cure.

It is well known that the Rees-Mogg family often discuss Brexit at mealtimes, and concerns have been raised for the welfare of his children, Oneus, Twous, Threeus, Fourus, Fiveus and Sixtus. Mr. Rees-Mogg was unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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