Written by Paxton Quigley

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

image for Boris Johnson Undergoes Secret Diversity Training Before Tory Leadership Challenge
Piccaninnies world wide support Johnson's leadership campaign

Failed "Foreign Secretary" Boris "Bozo" Johnson is undergoing secret diversity training in preparation for a leadership challenge to hapless "Prime Minister" Theresa "Maybot" May.

Under the expert tutelage of "comedian" Jim Davidson OBE, Mr Johnson is learning fast that there will be no more watermelon smiles, no more piccaninnies, no more letterboxes and no more attempts at reciting colonial poetry while making overseas tours of developing countries.

When confronted on the doorstep of his new home, a bedsit in Tower Hamlets where he has resided since being kicked out of the family home after admitting to shagging a close female associate, Mr Johnson was effusive about Mr Davidson's influence on his behaviour.

"Jim is a wonderful human being and his knowledge and involvement in our multicultural society is proving very helpful to me. Alright, so he is infamous for his jokes about women, ethnic minorities, gay and disabled people but it's all good clean fun. I know he isn't prejudiced against these groups and I am finding it particularly useful when he introduces his Jamaican alter ego Chalky White. His accent and mannerisms are truly authentic."

Diversity training is a new venture for Mr Davidson who has recently been developing adult pantomime shows such as Boobs in the Wood and Sinderella, both of which have played to sell-out audiences in Essex.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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