A manchild from a city in a country attempted to drunkenly show his long-suffering girlfriend how his pissing technique defied gravity, it has emerged.
The male, who cannot be named for embarrassment reasons, is believed to have drank around six pints of Heineken before the incident on Saturday evening at approximately 8:50pm GMT.
After subjecting the woman to several solo sing-alongs, the boy declared he "needed a Guns 'n Roses guitarist", which is Drunkese for the slang term for urinating - 'a slash'.
Before he had even unzipped, he is said to have had what he considered a "great idea", and subsequently shouted to his partner to "come through and look at this!"
The female is thought to have walked to the toilet with a tangible sense of dread, where the male, with penis in hand, exclaimed "look at this!"
Retreating to almost two metres away from the toilet bowl, the inebriated 'man' proceeded to urinate. Instead of a prolonged, projectile pee however it is reported it was, instead, a series of intermittent dribbles which simply fell to the floor and definitely did not defy gravity in any way. Indeed, it emphatically confirmed its very existence.
The explanation of "aw no I'm too drunk to get a good one" was accepted by his girlfriend, wearily humouring him, although it is thought there may have been a chance she was just enjoying the view. Incredibly.
Allegedly, the adolescent man has also since admitted it was possible 'stage fright', like the time he tried to piss when he was performing on a stage, but nothing came out and the audience seemed just as shocked as he was, maybe even more so, at no urine emerging.
That's definitely the thing they were aghast at, yep.
The dick was pissed, basically. Well, it didn't, but he was.