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Funny satire stories about Alcohol

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Funny story: Elton John Is Back On The Booze Again

Elton John Is Back On The Booze Again

Rock legend Reginald Kenneth Dwight has revealed he is no longer 'on the wagon', and is drinking alcohol again as if it were going out of fashion. The star, 73, spoke to reporters in an interview to promote the rock biopic 'Rocketman', and said th...

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Funny story: Screaming, Crying, Throwing An Intensely Psychotic Fit, And Drinking Heavily Seen As Possible Methods For Getting Through Writer's Block

Screaming, Crying, Throwing An Intensely Psychotic Fit, And Drinking Heavily Seen As Possible Methods For Getting Through Writer's Block

Wisconsin. The results of a state-wide survey conducted by numerous academic departments within the University-Of-Wisconsin System, indicated that throwing a massive and psychotic fit, screaming at the Moon, crying intensely, and drinking hard liquo...

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Funny story: Montana Woman Really Asking for It

Montana Woman Really Asking for It

Constantly falling-down drunk, reeking of cigarette smoke, and just generally meaner than dirt, Wanda Grayson of Billings, Montana, has really been asking for it, reported her husband, Jonah. "She's ugly, too," said Jonah - earning him a smack acr...

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Funny story: Alcoholic, Chain-Smoking, Famous Author Dies at 56

Alcoholic, Chain-Smoking, Famous Author Dies at 56

Internationally famous author, Charles B. Hardon, died horribly outside of his Florida home last Monday at 4:30 in the morning after experiencing hours upon hours of excruciating physical pain and unbearable torment. An autopsy revealed that he wa...

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Funny story: Brooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him

Brooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him

Josh Adams of Brooklyn, New York, was confused when a random girl, whom he'd hung out with maybe a dozen times over the course of a few months, told him that she needed to break up with him. "She caught me totally off guard," said Josh of the gir...

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Funny story: Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders 'The Totality of All Existence' While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel

Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders 'The Totality of All Existence' While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel

Platteville, Wisconsin. Without the use of marijuana or any other form of drug, Brad Smith, 39, entered a unique and extremely bizarre 'state of mind' during which he began to ponder the 'totality of all physical and spiritual existence' last Saturd...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Sees a Sign and Transforms His Life

Nashville Man Sees a Sign and Transforms His Life

Cody Gray of Nashville, Tennessee, had an unfortunate habit of having just a little - okay, a lot – too much to drink and then recklessly driving himself home. He’d never had an accident or been stopped by the police, but in the back of his mind, he...

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Funny story: Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

An office clerk in New York who was not in the right frame of mind to enjoy himself at the firm's annual Christmas party, eventually gave in to the overwhelming pressure of his friends and went along. Ed Reeperbahn, 26, an accountant at Stronk and...

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Funny story: Judge Kavanaugh Is Going Out For Drinks On Friday Night, Women Warned

Judge Kavanaugh Is Going Out For Drinks On Friday Night, Women Warned

Newly-confirmed US Supreme Court judge, Brett Kavanaugh, is to meet with friends 'for a few drinks' on Friday evening, and women have been warned to keep their distance. Judge Kavanaugh, who was cleared by a select committee of any sexual wrongdoi...

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Funny story: Man Tried To Show Girlfriend How His Pee Defies Gravity

Man Tried To Show Girlfriend How His Pee Defies Gravity

A manchild from a city in a country attempted to drunkenly show his long-suffering girlfriend how his pissing technique defied gravity, it has emerged. The male, who cannot be named for embarrassment reasons, is believed to have drank around six p...

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Funny story: Family and Community Express Concern Over Man's Lack Of Drinking

Family and Community Express Concern Over Man's Lack Of Drinking

Minnesota. Two years ago, Thomas Steiner made the life-changing decision to quit drinking and to get completely away from alcohol. After years of making poor choices, feeling sick all the time, having numerous health problems, and experiencing the...

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Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

A reunion party organised for past members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has ended in controversy, uproar, chaos and disgrace. The party, last Wednesday at Texas Stadium, started well enough, with singing and dancing on a huge stage on the fi...

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Funny story: Demi Lovato Conscious Again After Publicity Stunt

Demi Lovato Conscious Again After Publicity Stunt

US singer Demi Lovato, who was reported as having been taken into hospital on Tuesday, after a 'Publicity Stunt Overdose' (PSO) is said to be 'recovering well', and is expected to be fleecing fans again soon. Lovato, 25, who was on the road with h...

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Funny story: Stressed Out Local Resident Falls Apart Completely and Gets Drunk on a Tuesday

Stressed Out Local Resident Falls Apart Completely and Gets Drunk on a Tuesday

Cornfield, IA. After a long and stressful day, Reverend Thomas P. Whitestain, 39, came home last Tuesday evening only to find out that his dog had shit all over the kitchen floor and that his wife of 15 years had been cheating on him with Mr. Robert...

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Funny story: Man Decides to Quit Drinking After Company Party

Man Decides to Quit Drinking After Company Party

After becoming cognitively confused, pissing in his pants, throwing up all over the place, and saying things to his co-workers that he couldn't remember the next day, local Iowa man, Richard Head, has finally decided to quit drinking. "It just...

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Funny story: Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath

Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath

Tennessee man Joshua Hendricks recently met his Maker – albeit for only about ninety seconds – with whiskey on his breath. “It wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen,” admitted Hendricks, who fell into a coma as a result of alcohol poisoning but...

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Funny story: 1 drink a day shortens your life claim UK scientists, BULLSHIT! Lets all BURP together!

1 drink a day shortens your life claim UK scientists, BULLSHIT! Lets all BURP together!

The age old discussion of booze and health refuses to go away as scientists have come up with yet another threat to our lives; apart from dropping out of a plane, being hit by East European trucks, crossing the road generally, and falling in the bath, among millions of other reasons why our lives could be shortened! Well Jaggedone sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star, piss-artist rep...

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