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Funny satire stories about Alcohol

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Funny story: Burger King Will Start Serving Wine In All of Their Restaurants

Burger King Will Start Serving Wine In All of Their Restaurants

ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida – (Satire News) – The fast food industry can be a dog-eat-dog industry; sorry that was a bad choice of words. Tabloid Today is reporting that the $2 billion a year franchise is venturing into new territorial waters. A s…

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Funny story: German Man downs a Bottle of Slivovitz and Falls Over a Flower Pot

German Man downs a Bottle of Slivovitz and Falls Over a Flower Pot

Straelen, Germany: After a quite hefty birthday party, and boozing session, which took guests to a new limit of alcohol consumption, one of the guests, Herr Samuel Johansson, originally of Viking heritage, but now blessed with Germanic genes, nearly…

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Funny story: One in Five Americans is Heavily Drinking Alcohol

One in Five Americans is Heavily Drinking Alcohol

One in five Americans is heavily drinking alcohol, according to a new survey conducted by The Harris Poll, one of the top analytics firms. And it appears Covid may be part of the reason. The study was commissioned by an Irish biopharmaceutical compan…

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Funny story: Another Scot wins Wimbledon - maybe next year will be Tim Henman's year

Another Scot wins Wimbledon - maybe next year will be Tim Henman's year

Well, what a final that was. The ball went up then down then up again across the screen, like a game of Pong but on grass. It was literally riveting, and I was glued to my screen for the full two hours, or however long it was. It felt like longer.

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Funny story: Piss-Artist Aussies go on warpath as breweries announce, "Alcohol Kills!"

Piss-Artist Aussies go on warpath as breweries announce, "Alcohol Kills!"

Smoking Kills, no doubt, but then again smokers know this fact before puffing away at their favourite drug. Even images of decaying teeth, black lungs cannot stop smokers smoking! The alcohol Australian producing fraternity has also decided to put…

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Funny story: Bigfoot spotted in upstate bar: Sat alone drinking in a corner booth, left a strange tip

Bigfoot spotted in upstate bar: Sat alone drinking in a corner booth, left a strange tip

Patrons thought last night was just another night at The Backroom Lounge just outside Rochester. Very few noticed the “giant hairy guy” who sat brooding in a far corner, beyond the pool table, by the Men’s bathroom. “He kept his head down and lo…

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Funny story: Man Says He Might Try Sniffing Glue

Man Says He Might Try Sniffing Glue

The Coronavirus has changed many things about modern life, and it's also radically changed the way some of us think. A case in point is one man who has worried about COVID-19 and its frightening implications so much and so often, that he has arri…

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Funny story: Diego Maradona Celebrates One Month Clean

Diego Maradona Celebrates One Month Clean

Argentinian former World Cup winner, Diego Maradona, who, throughout his life, has been dogged with problems related to alcohol and drugs, is celebrating today after making it to the one-month mark since he indulged in either. Maradona, 60, won th…

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Funny story: Australian Airline KwonToss attempts to lure passengers back

Australian Airline KwonToss attempts to lure passengers back

Renowned Australian Airline KwonToss have told us that they're going to start offering their first-class passengers flights which will include accommodation with a bedroom, a kitchenette, and a wet-room. Whilst this may look attractive, Tripped A…

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Funny story: Local Lightweight not looking forward to going out tomorrow night

Local Lightweight not looking forward to going out tomorrow night

Local bachelor, Stanley Bridgewater, is not looking forward to doing two of his least favourite things tomorrow: drinking in a pub, and talking to strangers in a pub. The lonely 47-year-old, who gets drunk on one pint of shandy, and has not got pa…

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Funny story: Man Has Gone To Live In Parallel Universe

Man Has Gone To Live In Parallel Universe

A man who has had quite enough of his life in its current dimension, has 'upped sticks' and gone to live in a parallel universe, according to reports. Still using the same physical shell to move about in, Moys Kenwood, 56, 'willed' himself into an...

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Funny story: Eastenders: Queen Vic Given Special Dispensation To Stay Open During Coronavirus Pandemic

Eastenders: Queen Vic Given Special Dispensation To Stay Open During Coronavirus Pandemic

Prime Minister Boris Johnson may have spoken to the nation, and laid down the law telling people to stay at home during the Coronavirus crisis, with all pubs and clubs to shut, but, for one public house, in particular, this arrangement will not apply...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Encourages Americans to Drink More*

Desperate FDA Encourages Americans to Drink More*

Frustrated at Americans’ reluctance to abide by even its most tepid dietary guidelines, the long-ignored Food and Drug Administration garnered its most positive attention in decades with the issuance of a press release encouraging Americans to drink...

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Funny story: Man Is Fed Up Of Waiting

Man Is Fed Up Of Waiting

A waiter at a plush restaurant in New York has said that, after serving customers for nearly 16 years, he is absolutely sick to death of waiting, and is giving up the role, to search for alternative employment. Andrew Skivvy, 34, has taken diners'...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Successfully Operates on Fewer than All Cylinders

Nashville Man Successfully Operates on Fewer than All Cylinders

A big proponent of energy conservation, Hal Bailey, of Nashville, Tennessee, got the chance to put his eco-friendly values into practice when he successfully operated on fewer than all cylinders after a night of heavy partying. "I got sloppy waste…

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Funny story: Rambunctious Whisky Just Can't Sit Distilled

Rambunctious Whisky Just Can't Sit Distilled

His barley roots notwithstanding, Captain Jack, a whisky of Scotch descent from Brown Water, Missouri, is still feeling his oats. "I get antsy," he said. "I just can't sit distilled." Although aged for over a decade, Captain Jack is not willing to...

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Funny story: Wedding Party Experience Left Nasty Taste In Woman's Mouth

Wedding Party Experience Left Nasty Taste In Woman's Mouth

A woman who was forced to eat something that she didn't like at a wedding party has said that she felt humiliated in front of the other guests, and that the whole experience has left a nasty taste in her mouth. Wendy O'Kooms, of Dublin, was attend...

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