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Funny satire stories about drunk

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Funny story: The Garlic Nan Versus The Talking Kebab...

The Garlic Nan Versus The Talking Kebab...

For years, we've seen these supposed holy kitchen gifts from God enshrined in tablecloths, Nan bread, toast, and someone even posted Jesus's face in the froth of his Costa Coffee! I'm sure they are just freakish coincidences, but they certainly le…

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Funny story: Pilot Removed From Aircraft After Being Found Drunk

Pilot Removed From Aircraft After Being Found Drunk

Heathrow staff were shocked to see a pilot being forcibly removed from a flight earlier on today. Police were called when passengers complained that the man, wearing his pilot's uniform, was 'visibly, vomitingly drunk'. He has been named as Seamus…

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Funny story: Nashville Man Makes Good Start on Sobriety

Nashville Man Makes Good Start on Sobriety

Determined to kick his debilitating drug and alcohol habit, Travis Jones of Nashville, Tennessee, made an excellent start on sobriety by limiting his periods of intoxication to approximately 50 percent of his waking hours. "Not too shabby," said J...

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Funny story: The Dick With Two Faces

The Dick With Two Faces

A 75-year-old man has been warned he faces jail because of his point blank refusal to stop waving his dick at his neighbours. Bernard Condron has been warned by friends, family, the police and members of the clergy to “seriously, dude, stop waftin...

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Funny story: Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Despite his best efforts to make better use of himself, Time ended up getting totally wasted - again. "I guess some stuff happened, but I have no clue what," said Time. "I was flying, is about all I can remember. And the seconds got a little slopp...

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Funny story: Man On Motorbike Couldn't Find His House

Man On Motorbike Couldn't Find His House

In another story that, frankly, takes a lot of believing, but which is absolutely true, a man driving a motorbike home from the pub had to stop and ask people for directions to his house, as he couldn't find it. The incident happened in the Battam...

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Funny story: Brooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him

Brooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him

Josh Adams of Brooklyn, New York, was confused when a random girl, whom he'd hung out with maybe a dozen times over the course of a few months, told him that she needed to break up with him. "She caught me totally off guard," said Josh of the gir...

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Funny story: Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders 'The Totality of All Existence' While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel

Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders 'The Totality of All Existence' While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel

Platteville, Wisconsin. Without the use of marijuana or any other form of drug, Brad Smith, 39, entered a unique and extremely bizarre 'state of mind' during which he began to ponder the 'totality of all physical and spiritual existence' last Saturd...

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Funny story: Nightclub owner to open bar on North Sentinel islands

Nightclub owner to open bar on North Sentinel islands

A British nightclub owner has declared that he will open a bar on the remote North Sentinel Islands, near India. The people there are untouched by the modern world and continue to live a Stone Age lifestyle, as they have for tens of thousands of year...

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Funny story: Guy Shows Up At Interview Drunk

Guy Shows Up At Interview Drunk

The candidate was slurring his speech, and said under oath, "I like to drink a whoooooooooooole lot!" He then whipped out and chugged a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, then overturned the desk and made a grab for one of the interviewers, who promptl...

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Funny story: Man Tried To Show Girlfriend How His Pee Defies Gravity

Man Tried To Show Girlfriend How His Pee Defies Gravity

A manchild from a city in a country attempted to drunkenly show his long-suffering girlfriend how his pissing technique defied gravity, it has emerged. The male, who cannot be named for embarrassment reasons, is believed to have drank around six p...

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Funny story: Man On Bender Was A Total Disgrace

Man On Bender Was A Total Disgrace

The reputation of a man who went to his local pub 'for a quiet drink' last Saturday night, but then changed his agenda halfway through the evening, is in tatters, after a series of unplanned escapades. Reputable Lawrence Jackson, 38, ordered a pin...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Wonders When Her Bachelorette Party Will Finally Come

Nashville Woman Wonders When Her Bachelorette Party Will Finally Come

Every time 34-year-old Kendra Burke of Nashville, Tennessee, sees a crew of drunken girls in cutoff short-shorts, cowboy boots, and matching T-shirts go by on a foot-powered Pedal Tavern Bus, she wonders when the day will finally come for her bachelo...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Awakens to Find Shoe on the Other Foot

Nashville Man Awakens to Find Shoe on the Other Foot

Bart Miller of Nashville, Tennessee, recently awakened from a drunken stupor and fumbled for his shoe, only to find it on the other foot. "I'd heard about people getting wasted and doing stupid shit," said Miller, "but it had never happened to me.

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Funny story: Cougar Scandal!

Cougar Scandal!

BRANDON, MB-Local college boy Brent Simmons admitted Monday that the true identity of the woman he calls his mother, one Shirley Simmons, is actually his 45 year old mistress; a cougar named Diamond Foulfish. The relationship according to Simmons,...

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Funny story: Being sober now classed as legitimate fundraising event

Being sober now classed as legitimate fundraising event

The act of not drinking for 31 days has now been officially recognised as the most gruelling charity sponsorship activity in the world today, it has emerged. Emma Thorpe, spokesman for the 'Stoptober' movement said "It used to be enough to train r...

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Funny story: Man who gets drunk daily denies that he's an alcoholic

Man who gets drunk daily denies that he's an alcoholic

New York, N.Y. - Drew Dow of Roosevelt Island is an ordinary man with an extraordinary ability: his stomach uses excess yeast in his digestive tract to ferment carbs and sugar-dense foods into alcohol. This rare health condition is called auto-brewer...

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