The continuing heatwave which has seen temperatures across the UK rise to same levels as other countries across the world, has brought with it an influx of complaints.
Apart from the usual "it's too bloody hot" whingers, the general public is complaining of melting tarmac, burnt dog paws after walks, brown grass and the usual plethora of inane tripe.
However, police have said that there has been a massive rise in complaints of indecent exposure. Housewives across the UK are waking to the sight of neighbours sauntering about either barely-clad or totally nude.
Violet Naughtier from Essex stated, " I opened my curtains to be confronted by my next door neighbour opening his in the nude. I was shocked as it was also voyeurism as he was looking at me in the nuddy too. My Bert was going to clobber him."
Police commented that several arrests had been made involving people nude-gardening near schools and on one occasion a couple shopping in Aldi with nothing on. Other complaints involve shorts that are way too far up cracks, bulging fat over too-tight bikinis, budgie smuggling pensioners and side-boob of the over-creased variety.
