In a classic twist similar to the end of the film" Inception", the England team have simultaneously won and lost a match to Belgium.
By losing to the pus-filled pimple on the face of the Earth that is Belgium, England have actually won an easier ride to the final.
First clues that neither side actually wanted to win were the listless passing by players at their own end of the pitch for the first half while star striker Harry Kane snickered at the sidelines.
This was followed by the England mascot kiddies kicking the ball about between them for a 10 minute play session leaving the cheating, hairy-arsed Belgians bemused.
Belgium stupidly scored as English fans chanted "Suck-ers! Suck-ers!" whilst England players had to cover their faces with their shirts to hide their laughter at the foolish faux-pas of a goal.
Gareth Southgate, when asked if it really was all about the winning tonight, answered with a wink, "well of course it is- for those stupid Belgian twats."
