Written by Patrick Parkinson

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

image for Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Scientists at the university of Stockholm have revealed that dying could actually have substantial health benefits for your body. Previously experts felt that when a person expires there were no advantages and that life simply ended, however that has all changed.

"We examined fresh corpses and were amazed that the effect of death had on parts of your body like your skin" said Dr Sven Thorsen "it is true that death has negatives, such as the loss of sight, hearing and brain function. But due to the lack of expression in your faces, it causes a reduction in wrinkles. The body decomposes as well, we weighed the dead bodies and found that this caused significant weight decrease"

As a result of this, "The Dead Diet" has already spread quickly ever since it was featured on the front cover of "Women's Health" magazine. Now dieters everywhere are attempting to kill themselves in order to lose those extra few pounds. Many kids in schools have desperately entered suicide pacts with others in order to look as thin and as healthy as possible in time for the school prom.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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