Craig Bellamy To Be "Thrown Out Of Liverpool"

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 5 July 2007

image for Craig Bellamy To Be "Thrown Out Of Liverpool"
Bellamy, in the centre, shapes up to slug Shearer

Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez has told reporters that the days of troublesome striker Craig Bellamy at the club are numbered.

The Spaniard has recently added fellow countryman Fernando Torres to his squad, and along with Peter Crouch, Dirk Kite, other new signing Andriy Voronin and Bellamy, Benitez now has five strikers at his disposal.

"It's too many", he said, "I'll get rid of Bellamy."

The Welshman has had a stormy career wherever he has played, having most recently attacked Liverpool team-mate Jon Arne Riise with a golf club before a big game against Barcelona.

Prior to that, whilst at Newcastle, he struck Toon favourite Alan Shearer on the head with a hammer, and also got into trouble with Robbie Savage at Blackburn when he drove his fellow Welshman's VW Beetle into petrol pumps at a service station outside Bolton, causing a massive explosion.

If Bellamy is ousted from Anfield, Alan Curbishley's West Ham may give him shelter, and the Welsh thug would be suited to the Hammers' style, particularly in view of the Shearer incident.

Liverpool fans, long-ago fed up of Bellamy's antics, have declared their intention to "throw him out of town", and the striker is packing his bags as you read this.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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