AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - Texas Governor Greg Abbott has been called lots of things, an asshole, a turdhead, a low-life rattlesnake, and an ugly-looking hemorrhoid. Abbott, who is as ugly as Arkansas Governor Sarah "Chubs" Huckabee, but not…
KANSAS CITY - (Sports Satire) - Hollywood beckoned and the Super Bowl's MVP player, said, here I am y'all. Patrick Mahomes' business manager, has announced that Patrick has agreed to star as himself in the new autobiography film from Tri-Moon Pict…
Tulsa, Oklahoma native Bill Goldberg recently took exception to Rihanna’s Super Bowl 57 halftime performance by sharing on his “CarCast” podcast that he ‘was disgusted by it’. However, when pressed for further clarification as to what specifical…
In deference to Major League Baseball’s effort to speed up extra-inning games and reduce the risk of injury to its athletes by instituting the so-called ghost runner rule, the National Football League has initiated a rules change permanently installi…
PHILADELPHIA - (Sports Satire) - Sports Mirror reporter Tortilla Torres writes that the fans of Philadelphia sports teams (i.e. the Phillies, the 76ers, the Flyers, and the Union) can be some of the most fickle of any sports fans in the world; with t…
DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - The last time that the Cowboys won the Super Bowl was 26 years ago, and team owner Jerry Jones is, to use a Texas expression, fit to be tied. Jones told his statuesque wife Eugenia, and children Stephen, Charlotte, and J…
AUSTIN - (Satire News) - One of the world's richest men says that he lost $14 million on a Super Bowl bet. According to reporter Dottie Bazooka with The Sports Balls Illustrated Daily, multi gazillionaire Jeff Bezos, who recently has been acting s…
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (US Satire) - Alpha Beta News Agency writer Mimosa Sabrosa reports that Vice-President Kamala Harris bet on the Kansas City Chiefs to beat the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl, and she won $1 million. Miss Sabrosa spoke wit…
KANSAS CITY - (Super Bowl Satire) - Sportsapalooza is reporting that the MVP of Super Bowl LVII, Patrick Mahomes will have to undergo surgery. Team physician, Dr. Coronado Hillbrewster said that Patrick will be going in to have ankle replacement s…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Does anyone remember when crotch-grabbing was a lost art, especially for pinch-mouth prudes with legs that didn’t meet at a common point? Incidentally, in geometric terms, this type of layout is called an “infinitesimal paralle…
GLENDALE, Arizona - (Super Bowl Satire) - Fox Sports announcers Kevin Burkhardt and Greg Olsen, Fox News top announcing team, now that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman have left the network for ESPN (?) did a fantastic job of announcing the game. A very b…
GLENDALE, Arizona - (Satire News) - Super Bowl security reported that they had to break up a fight between celebrities Paul McCartney and Kevin Hart. Reports are that Kev was sitting in Paul's seat and when McCartney asked him to move, the comedia…
GLENDALE, Arizona - (Super Bowl Satire) - Music critics all over the world agree that on a scale of 1 to 10, Rhianna's halftime Super Bowl performance was less than memorable at 1.3. For one thing, since she's 8¼ months pregnant she wore 19 pounds…
GLENDALE, Arizona - (Super Bowl Satire) - A hobbling, semi-crippled Patrick Lavon Mahomes led his war-chanting Chiefs to victory in Super Bowl LVII (57). The game was played in Glendale, Arizona's State Farm Stadium, formerly The Hot-As-Hell Deser…
50 Cent may have been fat shamed on the internet, but he’s not letting it slow him down. After his recent Super Bowl appearance, the rapper was mercilessly blasted on social media by critics and trolls who claimed that the musician has gained weig…
Ever since Janet Jackson's boob flashed the audience in 2004 your parents have had it in for the Supebowl Halftime Show, and the 2022 show gave them ample ammunition to perpetuate this grumpy trend. You hoped that Snoop Dog's affiliation with Ma…
BILLINGSGATE POST: For Crotch-Grabbing fans, the Super Bowl halftime show lived up to expectations. With the Over-Under Line set at 78 on how many times Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg would grab their respective crotches during their performances, Dr. Dre w…
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