Jose Altuve Says He Wants To Leave The Houston Astros

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 12 December 2021

image for Jose Altuve Says He Wants To Leave The Houston Astros
Jose really misses his BFF teammate George Springer.

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to The Sports Bet Gazette, one of the most popular Astros players in the history of the team has hinted that he may be requesting to be traded.

SBG sports writer Zorro La Bamba, met with Altuve at a local Barbed Wired Barbecue and Grill in the Bayou City.

La Bamba had the Lone Star Triple Brisket Plate with a Tequila Sunrise, and Altuve had the Enormous Enthralling Enchilada Plate and a Dos Equis Beer.

Altuve expressed that ever since his best friend and teammate George Springer left the team to join the Toronto Blue Jays for lots, and lots, and lots more $$$, he (JA) has become semi-despondent.

The native of Venezuela commented that he and George really loved talking about motorcycles, the weather, geometry, and cheerleaders; especially the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and the Los Angeles Laker Girls.

And now Jose has told Astros management that he wants to leave the team and be traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

SIDENOTE: According to La Bamba, Jose wants to go to Hollywood so that he can make commercials for fast food restaurants like Taco Bell, The Enchanted Enchilada, Tia Tina’s, and The Giggling Guacamole.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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